MAN OF STEEL

It's never a good sign when the only real takeaway from a film is the insult "dick splash." I can thank the writers of Man of Steel for that little gem of a put-down. Too bad that's the only thing I feel comfortable thanking the writers for.

The first 20 minutes or so of Man of Steel, minus the birth scene, were the best 20 minutes of the film. Those treasured few minutes took place on Krypton and focused mostly on Russell Crowe as Jor El and Michael Shannon as General Zod. Oh, if only the entire movie had taken place on Krypton, maybe then it wouldn't have been the colossal disappointment of film it turned out to be. Once the story made its way to earth, any glimmer of hope that the opening of the film provided was quickly quashed. That might come across as overly harsh, but the film comes across as overly ambitious. I mean, clearly a great deal of effort was put into making the CGI look "cool," AND creating fight scenes full of excessive destruction with almost boundless collateral damage, AND having Superman be a Christ-like figure (and sometimes a Wolverine-like figure). It's a pity that all of this effort to make a good film stopped there. The time spent on these important things must have taken away from trivial things like writing decent or even passable dialogue.

There were so many lines that made me cringe and so much room for improvement that I could go on and on listing off examples, but I would rather not relive 80% of the film right here, right now. I'm sure many would disagree but, for me, the focus on making the film a Jesus allegory was likely the main reason the script was so lacking. The writers cared more about making Superman be the messiah than they did about writing the dialogue that didn't have anything to do with 'Jesus-man.' I've already seen a movie with a Jesus character who wore a big "S" on his shirt, the 1973 movie Godspell. The two most striking differences between Man of Steel and Godspell are 1- Godspell knew the sort of film it wanted to be and 2 - Godspell had likable characters. These are not small distinctions by any means.

Victor Garber in Godspell

Man of Steel's characters were painfully one-dimensional and just plain boring. Michael Shannon's Zod did not knock my socks off. His character made ridiculous decisions and came across as downright silly. I quickly grew tired of Zod and Henry Cavill as Superman goofing around, causing mayhem, and pretending not to like one another. I suppose I should be thankful for all the action since Cavill had few lines and didn't offer up much in the way of discernible emotion. Really, the only person in the film worth paying attention to was Richard Schiff as Dr. Hamilton. He's the real hero of the film. He's not a dick splash.

FRANCES HA

I was hoping to thoroughly enjoy Frances Ha. I mean, the name of it is Frances HA. When the title of a film appears to be laughing at something, I take that to mean it will be fun or maybe even funny. I was wrong. In Frances Ha, you have a 20-something female living in New York City, being annoying, making bad choices, and still coming out okay in the end. There isn't much funny in that. Unless of course the joke is on the audience. And I suspect it may just be.

Frances' frustrating and directionless life choices are mirrored by the equally aimless course of the film. Not a horrible way to make a film. Stories don't need to have a clear path to be enjoyable. But when it makes an 86 minute long film feel like a 186 minute long mistake, I'm not sure I can, or would want to, jump on board with that. The meandering story-line could have been the worst part of the film. Surprisingly it was not.

Frances bounced between being charismatic to being super-duper unlikable in the blink of an eye. Greta Gerwig gave a quite convincing performance as the selfish and flawed Francis. Her character often went off on broken streams of consciousness. She seemed more to be talking to herself than the people around her throughout most of the film. That's probably not an altogether awful representation of more than a handful of the young folks of today, which was more frightening than impressive. Even with the often effective dialogue, it was difficult to care much about the characters at any given moment...except perhaps for the break-up scene between Frances & her boyfriend. It happens early in the story and it gives you a pretty good idea whether or not you will like or dislike Frances. I ended up only liking the boyfriend and he never showed up again. Yet somehow even that was not the most disappointing thing about the film.

So what was most objectionable, the most vile, the most atrocious part of the film? The answer is remarkably simple...It was filmed in black and white. Noah Baumbach made quite the pretentious and unnecessary choice to shoot Frances Ha this way. It can work for some films, but it really doesn't for this one. He may have intended to add some charm and whimsy to the film or possibly some depth, but for me it added an artificial, insincere quality to it. Plus the grungy black and white accentuated all the other deficiencies in the film. It's a shame...I liked his film The Squid and the Whale. And before seeing Francis Ha, I didn’t realize that one of the reasons for my liking Squid was because it was in color.

Top 13 Favorite Actors

The following is a list of my Top 13 Favorite Actors at this very moment.

NOTE: The list is subject to change. The list is not solely based on acting ability; it is also based on likability and nostalgia. The list is in no particular order with the exception of the number 1 actor; he is the best so he deserves to be placed in the top spot. The list almost included Alan Arkin, Damian Lewis, Dule Hill & Jeff Bridges; however it does not.*

Austin Comic Con (2012)

13. LeVar Burton

First on my radar for: Reading Rainbow (TV)

Most memorable role: Geordi La Forge in Star Trek: TNG (TV)

Additional works of note: Perception (TV), Christy (TV), Roots (TV)

I wasn't much of a reader when I was a wee little one, LeVar Burton changed that. Although he was technically a host and not an actor on Reading Rainbow, he won my heart and made me a fan. Then he had to go and be Geordi on Star Trek: TNG. I have no idea how he was able to act so well with a little girl's plastic headband across his eyes, but man did he ever. It was his time as Georgi that made me a fan for life. It would make my year, if he was able to replace Alex Trebek as the host of Jeopardy. But you don't have to take my word for it...

Fearless Hyena (1979)

12. Jackie Chan

First on my radar for:  Cannonball Run II (1984)

Most memorable role: Shing Lung in Fearless Hyena (1979)

Additional works of note: The Forbidden Kingdom (2008), Rush Hour 2 (2001), Rush Hour (1998), Rumble in the Bronx (1995), Supercop (1992), Operation Condor (1991), The Young Master (1980), Drunken Master (1978), Snake in Eagles Shadow (1978), and Shaolin Wooden Men (1976)

I like to say that Jackie Chan has the biggest fan base in the world as though it's a fact. I'm pretty sure it's not true but I refuse to stop saying it. If I am ever in a funk, I can pop in a Jackie Chan film and feel better in no time. He has charisma and a very flexible body. He's impressive, so much so that I read his biography. It made me even more impressed with him.

A Dangerous Method (2011)

11. Michael Fassbender

First on my radar for: Band of Brothers (TV)

Most memorable role: Lt. Archie Hicox in Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Additional works of note: Prometheus (2012), Haywire (2011), Shame (2011), A Dangerous Method (2011), Hunger (2008), 300 (2006), and Agatha Christie's Poirot: After the Funeral (TV)

Fassbender is more than just a perfect face and a large member. He's a man with natural acting ability. He's got pep. That's right, pep. He is the best part of two sub-par films: Prometheus and X-Men: First Class. I think that says something, something wonderful.

2046 (2004)

10. Tony Leung Chiu Wai

First on my radar for: Hard Boiled (1992)

Most memorable role: Cop 663 in Chungking Express (1994)

Additional works of note: 2046 (2004), Infernal Affairs (2002), Hero (2002), In the Mood for Love (2000), and Happy Together (1997)

Tony Leung can express just about any emotion one can think of and make me feel what he looks like he is feeling. I'm not straight out saying he is a master of mind control or anything, but I wouldn't put it past him. 

Fortysomething (TV)

9. Stephen Fry

First on my radar for: A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

Most memorable role: Reginald Jeeves in Jeeves and Wooster (TV)

Additional works of note: QI (TV), Bones (TV), Kingdom (TV), V for Vendetta (2005), Fortysomething (TV), Bright Young Things (2003), Spice World (1997), A Bit of Fry and Laurie (TV), Cold Comfort Farm (1995), Peter's Friends (1992), and The Young Ones (TV)

Stephen Fry is a masterful entertainer. I'll watch just about anything he is a part of. He's so full of wit, he makes me both jealous and enchanted. He is also a frank and captivating writer. I've read his memoir, Moab is my Washpot. He is so very open in that book, that I feel like I know better than I know most of my friends. Although I'm intimidated by his talent, I would love to meet him and have a long conversation with him. It would be nice to hear his voice in person. It would be even nicer if he would come over to my house at least once a week and read me bedtime stories. But I digress...

The Big Lebowski (1998)

8. John Goodman

First on my radar for: Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

Most memorable role: Dan Conner and Adult D.J. of Roseanne (TV)

Additional works of note: Argo (2012), Red State (2011), The West Wing (TV), The Big Lebowski (1998), Fallen (1998), The Hudsucker Proxy (1994), Barton Fink (1991), and Always (1989)

John Goodman was the reason that I watched Roseanne. I think that's explanation enough.

White Christmas (1954)

7. Danny Kaye

First on my radar for: White Christmas (1954)

Most memorable role: Walter Mitty in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947)

Additional works of note: The Cosby Show (TV), The Court Jester (1955), The Inspector General (1949), and The Kid from Brooklyn (1946)

Danny Kaye has the same birthday as I do, different year but you get the idea. That's not actually the reason he made it to my favorite list. Kevin Costner has the same birthday as I do too, and you won't be seeing him on the list. Kaye was the cream of the crop. He was quirky and at the same time a model of excellence in his field. There aren't many Christmas movies that are actually good out there. And I'm not entirely convinced that White Christmas is that good of a film, but I know that Danny Kaye made it a film I could watch over and over again. The man was gifted. May he rest in peace. 

Miss Potter (2006)

6. Ewan MacGregor

First on my radar for: Trainspotting (1996)

Most memorable role: Curt Wild in Velvet Goldmine (1998)

Additional works of note: Haywire (2011), Beginners (2010), The Ghost Writer (2010), Angels and Demons (2009), I Love you Phillip Morris (2009), Miss Potter (2006), Big Fish (2003), Little Voice (1998), and The Pillow Book (1996)

Ewan McGregor is fun to watch... Before Star Wars: Episode 1 came out, I was pretty happy that he was able to play Obi-Wan Kenobi. After Episode 1 came out, I was just happy that he was a good enough actor to still get work.

Rushmore (1998)

5. Bill Murray

First on my radar for: Ghostbusters (1984)

Most memorable role: Carl Spackler in Caddyshack (1980)

Additional works of note: Moonrise Kingdom (2012), Zombieland (2009), The Darjeeling Limited (2007), Broken Flowers (2005), The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004), Lost in Translation (2003), Rushmore (1998), Groundhog Day (1993), Scrooged (1988), Tootsie (1982), and Saturday Night Live (TV)

For a large part of my childhood I thought that I wanted to marry Bill Murray. Turns out, I really wanted to marry Dr. Peter Venkman. It'd be pretty cool to marry a Ghostbuster. Am I right or am I right?
Anyway, I didn't think it was possible but Murray gets better with age. Moonrise Kingdom is proof of that.

Wild Target (2009)

4. Bill Nighy

First on my radar for: Underworld (2003)

Most memorable role: Philip in Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Additional works of note: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011), Glorious 39 (2009), Wild Target (2009), Hot Fuzz (2007), Notes on a Scandal (2006), The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (2005), and Love Actually (2003)

Bill Nighy made it onto my favorites list because he is so dang likable. He is an enigmatic actor. I love his voice and the way he moves his body. He is a scene stealer in almost every film he's in and I see that as a good thing. 

Django Unchained (2012)

3. Christoph Waltz

First on my radar for: Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Most memorable role: Dr. King Schultz in Django Unchained (2009)

Additional works of note: Carnage (2011), and The Green Hornet (2011)

Christoph Waltz makes me want to learn to speak German...for real this time. He's an Austrian actor who can actually act, unlike a certain former Governor of California. Waltz has a knack for coming across as both arrogant and endearing. Quentin Tarantino clearly likes him...why shouldn't I? 

Smart People (2008)

2. Thomas Haden Church

First on my radar for: Wings (TV)

Most memorable role: Lowell Mather in Wings (TV)

Additional works of note: We Bought a Zoo (2011), Killer Joe (2011), Easy A (2010), Smart People (2008), Sideways (2004), Rolling Kansas (2003), 3000 Miles to Graceland (2001), and Ned and Stacy (TV)

I feel like Thomas Haden Church is the most underrated actor on my list. He's clever, crafty, and charming. I like him for a lot of the same reasons people don't like him. And I'm fine with that. He is a great actor with a great voice and a sharp mind.  

Batman Begins (2005)

1. Gary Oldman

First on my radar for: Dracula (1992)

Most memorable role: Drexyl Spivey in True Romance (1993)

Additional works of note: Lawless (2012), Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011), The Dark Knight (2008), Batman Begins (2005), Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004), Hannibal (2001), Nobody's Baby (2001), Lost in Space (1998), Air Force One (1997), The Fifth Element (1997), Murder in the First (1995), Immortal Beloved (1994), Leon: The Professional (1994), JFK (1991), Prick Up Your Ears (1987), and Sid and Nancy (1986)

Gary Oldman is by far the best actor alive today. He is Sid Vicious, Beethoven, Pontius Pilate, Commissioner Gordon, and Dracula. He didn't just play these characters; he is them. It is difficult for me to put into words how extraordinary Oldman truly is. He's the real deal. The fact that he has never won an Oscar is either an absurdity or a badge of honor. I haven't decided which it is yet. One thing I am certain of is that Oldman has a great head of hair. You know that's right.

These are my favorites right now. Who are yours?

*Rupaul did not make it on to this list, but my favoritism and judging is somewhat inspired by Ru yet again.

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD

I was considering saying nothing about this so-called "Die Hard" film and just pretending it didn't exist, but I already wasted my time watching it; I may as well spend a little bit of time venting about it.

A Good Day to Die Hard, it was not...

Here are the PROS:
1. When one of the generic villains says, "Yippee Ki-Yay!," Bruce Willis smirks.
2. It ended.

And here are the CONS:
1. The film started off painfully slow. Bruce Willis, as John McClane, himself actually seemed bored by the first 20 minutes of the film.
2. The action, although quite implausible, was not nearly as absurd and over-the-top as I was expecting/needing.
3.The stunts pale by comparison to the ridiculously fantastic action in Live Free or Die Hard.
4. The characters left me longing for Hans Gruber, Col. Stuart, Zeus Garver, Simon Gruber, and surprisingly enough Matt Farrell.
5. The story was moth-eaten and unimpressive. Oddly, father/son animosity and bad guys in the market for weapons-grade uranium are not tremendously cutting edge.
6. And the cast, well let me just put it this way: Eh.

(Twentieth Century Fox)

I'm not so sure this one will ever make it to my Die Hard DVD Collection even to simply round out the set.

Top 13 Favorite Actresses

The following is a list of my Top 13 Favorite Actresses at this very moment. 

NOTE: The list is subject to change. The list is not solely based on acting ability; it is also based on charisma, uniqueness, nostalgia, and talent.* The list is alphabetical by last name with the exception of the number 1 actress; she is the best so she doesn't need to be alphabetized. The list almost included Audrey Hepburn & Julie Walters; however it does not.

Little Fish (2005)

13.  Cate Blanchett

First on my radar for: Pushing Tin (1999)
Most memorable role: Janine in Hot Fuzz (2007)
Additional works of note: Notes on a Scandal (2006), Little Fish (2005), Coffee and Cigarettes (2003), and Bandits (2001).

I never did see Elizabeth or its follow up. But I might just do it someday specifically because Blanchett is in them. I have yet to be disappointed by her. And this is coming from someone who watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in its entirety.

Freaky Friday (1976)

12.  Jodie Foster

First on my radar for: Freaky Friday (1976)
Most memorable role: Annabel in Freaky Friday (1976)
Additional works of note: The Brave One (2007) and Nell (1994)

Yes, that is correct. I was introduced to Foster in Freaky Friday, not Taxi Driver or Silence of the Lambs. For a while I thought I wanted to be just like Annabel from Freaky Friday; later in life I realized that I just wanted to play field hockey like her.  
She is magnificent in Nell. And although I may be the only person to feel this way, The Brave One is one of Foster's best films. 

Jumpin' Jack Flash (1986)

11.  Whoopi Goldberg

First on my radar for: Jumpin' Jack Flash (1986)
Most memorable role: Celie in The Color Purple (1985)
Additional works of note: Rat Race (2001), Corrina, Corrina (1994), Star Trek: TNG (TV), Ghost (1990), and Burglar (1987)

Whoopi is an ingenious human being with a wide range of talents. I've looked up to her as a person for as long as I can remember. She's brilliant and hardworking. Over the years I've repeatedly watched her in Jumpin' Jack Flash and I have yet to tire of her character or her performance. Star Trek: TNG would not be the same without her as my Guinan. 
No, I didn't list Sister Mary Clarence from Sister Act in any of the roles of note for Whoopi. We all know about Sister Act, don't we? If I happen to be flipping through the channels and find Whoopi singing 'My Guy/My God,' I'm most definitely going to stop flipping and start watching. 

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

10.  Allison Janney

First on my radar for: The Ice Storm (1997)

Most memorable role: Claudia Jean Craig on The West Wing (TV)

Additional works of note: Away We Go (2009), The Chumscrubber (2005), Nurse Betty (2000), 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), and Guiding Light (TV)

Allison Janney is often underrated, and that's a pity. She's strong, beautiful, and can act her ass off. She is the sort of human being that I think I would love to meet, but if it actually happened I would probably have some sort of uncontrollable bodily fluid evacuation. That's right, she's that good.

The Apartment (1960)

9.  Shirley MacLaine 

First on my radar for: Steel Magnolias (1989)

Most memorable role: Fran in The Apartment (1960)

Additional works of note: Bernie (2011), Guarding Tess (1994), and The Trouble with Harry (1955)

Two of my favorite actresses don't need any explanation. Shirley MacLaine is one of them; Dame Maggie Smith is the other. 

Greenfingers (2000)

8.  Helen Mirren 

First on my radar for: Greenfingers (2000)

Most memorable role: Chris in Calendar Girls (2003)

Additional works of note: The Queen (2006), The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (2005), Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999), and Caligula (1979)

Mirren has a special something that I find difficult to explain. So I won't even try.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

7.  Kristin Scott Thomas 

First on my radar for: Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
Most memorable role: Juliette in I've Loved You So Long (2008)
Additional works of note: The Golden Compass (2007), Tell No One (2006), and Keeping Mum (2005)

Kristin Scott Thomas, or as I like to call her KST (pronounced 'kisst'), blew me away in I've Loved You So Long. I had never really realized how amazing she was until I saw that film. And she is truly amazing. I didn't much care for The English Patient or Gosford Park, so I always just categorized her as a women who liked being cast in relentlessly tedious films. Now I know better.

Resident Evil (2002)

6.  Michelle Rodriguez 

First on my radar for: Resident Evil (2002)
Most memorable role: Diana in Girlfight (2000)
Additional works of note: Machete (2010), Lost (TV), and S.W.A.T. (2003)

Rodriguez is someone that little kids can look up to. She has serious acting chops. More often then not she portrays strong characters and she does it with ease. She is convincing as a person who can kick some ass. I like that. It's one of the reasons why she is on my list of favorites and an "action star" like Angelina Jolie is not.

Evil Under the Sun (1982)

5.  Maggie Smith 

First on my radar for: Hook (1991)
Most memorable role: Daphne in Evil Under the Sun (1982)
Additional works of note: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011), Harry Potter 1-7 (2001-2011), Keeping Mum (2005), Murder by Death (1976)

Two of my favorite actresses don't need any explanation. Dame Maggie Smith is one of them; Shirley MacLaine is the other. 

Glorious 39 (2009)

4.  Juno Temple 

First on my radar for: Glorious 39 (2009)
Most memorable role: Dottie in Killer Joe (2011)
Additional works of note: The Dark Knight Rises (2012) and Notes on a Scandal (2006)

Juno Temple has an amazing young actress with a promising career in her future. Killer Joe convinced me of that. Her American accent in Killer Joe is spot on and her performance is stellar. I expect great things from her. Hopefully she will never have to be in a movie like Year One again. Even if she is, I will probably find a way to forgive her. 

Godspell (1973)

3.  Lynne Thigpen 

First on my radar for: Godspell (1973)
Most memorable role: The Chief in Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego (TV)
Additional works of note: Novocaine (2001), Shaft (2000), The Insider (1999), thirtysomething (TV), and Tootsie (1982)

Lynne Thigpen was special. She had talent oozing out of her pores. Her vocal prowess was unmatched. Her voice will forever be burned in my memory. Thigpen was a strong influential women. Although she had too short a life, she made a huge impact on me. Rest in peace, Ms. Thigpen and thank you. 

Wit (2001)

2.  Emma Thompson 

First on my radar for: Henry V (1989)
Most memorable role: Vivian in Wit (TV movie 2001)
Additional works of note: Last Chance Harvey (2008), Stranger Than Fiction (2006), Love Actually (2003), Maybe Baby (2000), Peter's Friends (1992), and The Young Ones (TV)

Emma Thompson is witty, but I'm not saying that because she starred in the movie Wit. That movie is gut-wrenching and seeing her performance in it made me realize she is a unique talent with more than a few tricks up her sleeve. 

Connie and Carla (2004)

1.  Toni Collette

First on my radar for: Muriel's Wedding (1994)
Most memorable role: Julie in Cosi (1996)
Additional works of note: Fright Night (2011), The Black Balloon (2008), LIttle Miss Sunshine (2006), Connie and Carla (2004), Japanese Story (2003), About a Boy (2002), Shaft (2000), The Sixth Sense (1999), Velvet Goldmine (1998), and The Efficiency Expert (1992)

Toni Collette is one of the best actresses working today. I will watch any film starring Collette. The fact that I have seen In Her Shoes is proof of that.
Collette is often underrated, but not by me. She has an amazing set of pipes on her. She is gutsy and strong.  And she has heart. You can get a sense of her range of talents by watching just a single episode of United States of Tara. 
I knew that I liked her after seeing Muriel's Wedding, Cosi, and Velvet Goldmine. It wasn't until I saw Japanese Story that I recognized how much respect I had for her. And it wasn't until Connie and Carla that I realized I loved her. 

These are my favorites right now. Who are yours?


*My favoritism and judging inspiration comes partially from RuPaul, even though Ru did not make this list.

Top 13 Guilty Pleasure Films

D Dot Cinema

The following is a list of painfully bad films that I should be embarrassed, or quite possibly ashamed, to admit that I love. But no matter how many times I watch any one of these substandard films, I end up loving them more. They all have put their own little spell on me.

Listed in no intentional order...

13.  Twins (1988)
Director: Ivan Reitman
Faces: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, David Caruso

12.  Never Been Kissed (1999)
Director: Raja Gosnell
Faces: Drew Barrymore, Michael Vartan, Molly Shannon, John C. Reilly, Jessican Alba

11.  Exit Wounds (2001)
Director: Andrzej Bartkowiak
Faces: Steven Seagal, DMX, Anthony Anderson, Tom Arnold

10.  The Brothers Solomon (2007)
Director: Bob Odenkirk
Faces: Will Arnett, Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Lee Majors

9.  The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)
Director: Matthew Robbins
Faces: Helen Slater, Christian Slater, Dean Stockwell, Yeardley Smith

8.  Scream (1996)
Director: Wes Craven
Faces: Neve Campbell,Matthew Lillard, Jaime Kennedy

7.  Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997)
Director: David Mirkin
Faces: Mira Sorvino, Lisa Kudrow, Jeneane Garofalo, Alan Cumming, Justin Theroux

6.  The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
Director: Justin Lin
Faces: Lucas Black, Sonny Chiba

5.  The Cutting Edge (1992)
Director: Paul Michael Glaser
Faces: D.B. Sweeney, Moira Kelly, Michael Hogan, Terry O’Quinn

4.  Red Sonja (1985)
Director: Richard Fleischer
Faces: Brigette Neilsen, Ernie Reyes, Jr., Arnold Schwarzenegger

3.  Night at the Roxbury (1998)
Director: John Fortenberry
Faces: Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan, Molly Shannon, Jennifer Coolidge, Loni Anderson, Richard Grieco

2.  Wild Wild West (1999)
Director: Barry Sonnenfeld
Faces: Will Smith, Kenneth Branagh, Kevin Kline, Salma Hayek

1.  Beverly Hills Ninja (1997)
Director: Dennis Dugan
Faces: Chris Farley, Robin Shou, Chris Rock, Billy Connolly




There you have it...my top 13 guilty pleasure films. What are yours?

Oscar Predictions 2013

I may be blinded by my love of ARGO and DJANGO UNCHAINED but I still found a way to make some predictions that don't have those two films winning everything...

BEST PICTURE

Will win: ARGO
Should win: ARGO or DJANGO UNCHAINED

***Should NOT have been nominated: SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK


BEST DIRECTOR

Will win: Steven Spielberg, LINCOLN

**SHOULD have been nominated: Ben Affleck, ARGO & Quentin Tarantino, DJANGO UNCHAINED


BEST ACTOR

Duh: Daniel Day-Lewis, LINCOLN

**Should have been nominated: Jamie Foxx, DJANGO UNCHAINED & Jack Black, BERNIE


BEST ACTRESS

Will win: Jennifer Lawrence, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
Possible surprise winner: Emmanuelle Riva, AMOUR


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Will win: Robert De Niro, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
Should win: Christoph Waltz, DJANGO UNCHAINED
Possible upset winner: Tommy Lee Jones, LINCOLN

**Should have been nominated: Samuel L. Jackson, DJANGO UNCHAINED & Michael Fassbender, PROMETHEUS


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Duh: Anne Hathaway, LES MISÉRABLES

**Should have been nominated: Juno Temple, KILLER JOE


BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

Will win: FRANKENWEENIE
Should win: FRANKENWEENIE
Possible surprise winner: BRAVE

Honorable Mention: THE PIRATES! IN AN ADVENTURE WITH SCIENTISTS


BEST FOREIGN FILM

Will win: AMOUR


BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Will win: DJANGO UNCHAINED
Should win: DJANGO UNCHAINED or MOONRISE KINGDOM
Possible upset winner: ZERO DARK THIRTY

***Should NOT have been nominated: FLIGHT

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Will win: ARGO
SHOULD win: ARGO
Possible upset winner: LINCOLN


BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Will win: ANNA KARENINA
Should win: THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY


BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Will win: ANNA KARENINA


BEST ORIGINAL SONG

Duh: ‘Skyfall’ from SKYFALL


BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Will win: LIFE OF PI

**Should have been nominated: BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD


BEST DOCUMENTARY

Will win: SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN
Possible surprise winner: HOW TO SURVIVE A PLAGUE


BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Will win: LIFE OF PI
Possible surprise winner: DJANGO UNCHAINED


BEST FILM EDITING

Will win: ARGO
Possible surprise winner: LINCOLN


BEST MAKEUP

Will win: THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY
Possible surprise winner: LES MISÉRABLES


BEST SOUND EDITING

Will win: SKYFALL
Possible upset winner: ZERO DARK THIRTY


BEST SOUND MIXING

Will win: LES MISÉRABLES
Possible surprise winner: LIFE OF PI


BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Will win: LIFE OF PI
Just happy to be nominated: MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS


BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT

Will win: INOCENTE
Possible surprise winner: OPEN HEART


BEST ANIMATED SHORT 

Will win: PAPERMAN
Possible surprise winner: ADAM AND DOG


BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT

Will win: DEATH OF A SHADOW (Dood van een Schaduw)
Should win: DEATH OF A SHADOW or ASAD
Possible surprise winner: CURFEW


BEST USE OF FAKE BLOOD (not a real category)

Will win: DJANGO UNCHAINED

FLIGHT

It's weird and upsetting to know that Flight was directed by Robert Zemeckis. The man made Back to the Future and Castaway, proof positive he can make films with interesting characters, good pacing, and few wasted moments. Neither of those films could be considered the best ever made, but they were certainly made right. Flight? This film is just made wrong. It is proof positive Zemeckis can also make films with predominately uninteresting characters, horrible pacing, and bucket loads of wasted moments.

Denzel Washington plays Whip Whitaker an alcoholic airline pilot who happens to pull off an impressive in-air maneuver/crash landing that makes him a hero. But this isn't really what the film is about; it's about Whip's crash and burn with his addiction to drugs and alcohol. The breakdown of his character is more important than the plot and that's a pity because the plot is intriguing while Whip Whitaker is not. He is an irksome character who comes across as frustratingly boring. When it came to the acting, Washington was convincing as a pilot. But Washington as an addict? Not so much. Yes, he looked drunk and had dark circles under his eyes for much the movie, but I’m pretty sure my 12 year old nephew could have done just as good a job given the chance. I know, my young nephew would have been a strange casting choice but if it had been him playing the part, I probably would have cared a tad bit more about Whip. And I probably wouldn’t have found myself making imaginary casting changes and hoping his story would quite stalling and end already.

(Paramount Pictures)

Writer John Gatins must have realized Whip was too insipid to carry the whole film, so he sprinkled in a variety of characters to add depth and prop Whip’s story up. This doesn't work out too well with his ex-wife and son. And it certainly doesn’t work with the flight attendant he was sleeping with (I think her name is 'naked chick' or something similar to that). Of course, they aren’t as extraneous as the character Nicole, played by Kelly Reilly. Nicole is a recovering heroine addict who, I'm sure, was in the film solely to help develop Washington's character. She has a substantial amount of screen time in the film, most of which feels wasted. The funny thing is Whip meets her at the same time he meets a cancer patient who seems to do more to affect Whip in three minutes than she does in her exorbitant screen time. But for as much as I don't care for her being a part of Whip's story I would rather watch a movie about Nicole, the addict, than Whip Whitaker, the addict.

The characters who actually do add something of interest to the film are played by Don Cheadle, John Goodman, and Brian Geraghty. They have the best bits, but they are few and far between. Their characters are written well and played superbly. None of them are enough to save the film from being the life-sucking machine that it is though. To be honest, the plane inversion and crash scene isn't enough either. And that scene comes so early in this considerably long, drawn-out film, it gives a false sense of awesome. Flight is a flimflam of a film. That is all.

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK

Silver Linings Playbook isn't all that special. It is a typical romantic dramedy with some atypical and interesting cinematography. And it is set in a world were people don't seem to understand that sidewalks are for pedestrians and streets are for cars.

The plot of Silver Linings Playbook is corny and extremely formulaic. It falls into the polished turd category of film making. The two main characters are crazy before they fall for each other, then they are crazy for each other. Bradley Cooper plays Pat, a man who moves back in with his parents after an 8 month stint in a mental institution. Jennifer Lawrence plays Tiffany, a woman who has "poor social skills," and a dead husband. Pat is bi-polar and hyper-focused on getting back with his cheating wife who has a restraining order against him. Despite the fact he's obsessed with his wife, there is some sort of master plan to get him together with the lovely and kooky Tiffany. Cooper seemed to be playing a slightly more mentally unbalanced person than he did when he played the fictionalized Anthony Bourdain in the short-lived television series Kitchen Confidential. (If you are a fan of either Buffy and/or Freaks and Geeks, Kitchen Confidential gives you a little slice of Nicholas Brendan, aka Xander, and John Francis Daley, aka Sam Weir, that you can't get anywhere else.) Cooper's role wasn't much to write home about. It didn't blow me away. Lawrence, on the other hand, I gotta say, whether or not Lawrence thinks acting is stupid doesn't change the fact that she's damn good at it. I can't imagine anyone else playing her role. I didn't try that hard to imagine it, but still. She's good. I could go complete cheese-ball here and call her the silver lining of the film, but that would inaccurate.

Of course, I still have cheese-ball tendencies and the film does have a silver lining, two in fact: Chris Tucker and Robert De Niro. Chris Tucker was one of the main reasons the movie kept my interest. His character, Danny, was the perfect complement to Pat. He showed up at the exact times that he was needed. Whenever Pat was hesitant and being a whiny baby about doing anything, Danny would pop up to take Pat's place and/or show him what's what. At first, I was disappointed that Tucker didn't get more screen time, but looking back I think it was just right. The balance his character provided to the film was necessary. Too much of him would have taken away from that.And Robert De Niro, he was impressive. He plays Pat's OCD father so well that I can almost forgive him for Analyze This and Analyze That, Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers, and, of course, Showtime! This film reminded me why I like Robert De Niro.

(The Weinstein Company)

SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS

My motivation for seeing Seven Psychopaths was simple: I liked In Bruges so much that I just had to see what Martin McDonagh would come up with next. And what he came up with was a different kind of beast. Different enough for me to try to avoid any direct comparison to In Bruges, except to say that casting Colin Farrell for both films was a wise choice.

The characters worth mentioning in Seven Psychopaths are as follows:
-- Farrell, who plays Marty, is a drunk and struggling Irish writer. Yes, that's correct. Martin McDonagh named the main character in his film Marty. And the title to the screenplay Marty is working on just so happens to be "Seven Psychopaths."
-- Sam Rockwell, who plays Billy Bickle, is Marty's BFF and an actor/dog-napper.
-- Christopher Walken, who plays Hans, is Billy's fellow dog-napper. He is the one who returns the dogs for a finder's fee.
-- Woody Harrelson, who plays Charlie, is a gangster with an unhealthy love/addiction for his adorable little Bonny, the Shih Tzu.
-- Bonny, who plays the Shih Tzu named Bonny, is one of the best parts of the film.
-- And Tom Waits who plays Zachariah, is a bunny-lovin' lunatic and another one of the best parts of the film.

The whole film is convoluted in a good way. There are stories within stories. Flashbacks on top of flashbacks. Intertwining real-life relationships mixed in with brainstormed fictional relationships for Marty's screenplay. So I will only offer up some of the highlights: Marty is having a bit of writer's block and Billy decides to help Marty get over this hump. They are BFF's after all. Billy "convinces" Marty to interview real psychopaths so he can use them in his script. Marty isn't particularly keen on the idea, but Billy gets the ball rolling on this idea before giving Marty the chance to protest. Psychopath Zachariah is the first to tell Billy his story with a bunny in hand. His story puts the whole movie into perspective and Waits cuddling up on some bunnies is definitely a sight to see. Then you have Billy and Hans dog-napping Bonny. Of course, Charlie finds out about Bonny's dog-napping and plans revenge against them at any cost. Things get a little dangerous when it comes to Charlie. Imaginations run wild and a fair amount of shenanigans occur, some of which happen in town and some in the desert. All the while, you see a guy called the Jack of Diamonds going around town killing mob men, Marty and his girlfriend going through a tough time, and Bonny staying cute from the beginning of the film to the end. [SPOILER ALERT] If Bonny had been killed in the film, it would have ruined the film for me. The film did not get ruined.

While I'm throwing spoilers out, here are two more:
1. This movie poster will give you the wrong expectations. There are less than seven psychopaths in the film depending on how you define psychopath.

(CBS Films, Inc)

2. Although there are two women on this poster, you aren't going to see much screen time for Abbie Cornish or Olga Kurlyenko.

In fact, the film makes fun of how females rarely do much more than act like imbeciles and get themselves killed in films like this. And in case you somehow missed that point...Hans tells Marty that he has awful female characters in his script. It's true and fairly depressing. It reinforces stereotypes rather than changes them. In this case, I will forgive Martin Donagh for taking the easy way out, mostly because he managed to inject the right amount of unpredictability, fake blood, and humor in this convoluted crime comedy. Seven Psycopaths is self-aware, has a smart little script, and may cause you to search the internet for adorable pictures of Shih Tzus.